6/3 So much business to attend to...

First order of business: the grand finale of the "Top 10 Crazy Jerry Falwell Quotes": 1. "I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.'" --on the 9/11 attacks. (Of course. It has nothing to do with the after-effects of colonialism, or America's blatantly self-interested interventionism, or the creation of a state that shouldn't exist on land given by people with no other claim on the land than bigger guns than the rightful inhabitants. No, none of those things-- it's the gays, and the abortionists, and the ACLU, who helped cause 9/11)

Second order of business: The Barossa Valley Wine Tour was a smashing success-- a beautiful, scenic drive through the Adelaide Hills, 5 wineries and 30 different kinds of wine to try, and a stunning spread of locally produced food for lunch. And thank god for that lunch of fresh bread, German-style ham and salami, smoked-salmon bruschetta, various local cheeses, cake and coffee, otherwise I would have been shit-housed by 1:30 this afternoon. As it was, we had a great time, took some pictures, got a fair bit sauced, and Martina bought a $100 bottle of Freedom Shiraz made from vines that are 160 years old to celebrate when the divorce finally goes through (holy shit it was good!). We drove back into the city around 5:00, which leads me to...

Third order of business: I had my life threatened by a nine year old. No kidding. I was just zoning out with Jack's Mannequin, staring out the window when I saw these three kids. There were about to jump this fence into god-knows-what and I couldn't have cared less, but they happened to be in my line of sight, so this kid turns around and starts walking into the middle of the street, beating his chest and shouting at me. Unfortunately, I had my head phones in so I didn't catch his voice, but I distinctly read on his lips the phrases: "what the fuck are you looking at?", "You want a piece of me, bitch?" and "I'll fuck you up!" It took a few seconds to register that he was talking to me, and I took my headphones out to everyone in the bus going "oh my god, what was that about?" The bus pulled away and as I turned, the kid was standing in the gutter giving me the finger. If only my camera had been out-- that would have made the little fucker go agro.

Fourth order of business: The game was officially won by Marco, who came up with a string of 47 bands that begins with Billy Idol and ends with Frankie & Billy so the fucking thing loops. Winner by far. However, he did the gracious thing and gifted his prize, saying "Kait, you can have my oral sex. I know where the adam has been and i don't want his mouth near my dick." What a sweetheart.

Fifth order of business: I came up with ideas for, and started, two more stories, both of them different than the idea I thought up yesterday. One is tentatively entitled Phylloxera and the other two are as yet unnamed, so there's no dearth of things to write about, I just have to sit down and do it now. I did a little writing when I got back, but had to lay down for a while, then went next door for Tim Tams, ice cream balls, more wine, and Chapelle's show. This week I gotta get organized for this trip and transfer some money back home and get my assignments turned in and all kinds of other bullshit. Ugh.

Drink Count: 10? (30 mil. at a time of Tawney port and riesling and merlot and chardonnay and cabernet and shiraz over 6 hours leaves one a little unsure about exactly how much one is drinking.)

Beautiful country, hey?