8/11 & 8/12 Hair of the DON'T

Yeah. Mattanya party. It started innocently enough; the kids returned from shopping with a bottle of Mezcal that didn't last long. Then there was wine and more wine, and Rohan running around with a contraband bottle of vodka which also didn't last long. Dancing began; the music got loud. Then I was cornered by Trampolina, once again, who said some things that angered up my blood to the point that I had to leave. Basically, she told me that what I was doing was stupid and that learning about writing was a totally useless pursuit. Side story: in her tryouts for Nationals, she fell off the trampoline. Fell! No '08 Olympics for Deputy Dipshit, and no national title either! So when she told me that you can either write or you can't, and no amount of theory or studying is going to make a difference either way, I responded to the tune of: "Yeah, writing is a lot like jumping on trampolines... some people can just do it, and some can't. Have fun with your useless training-- I need more vodka." Well, that's what I said in my head, my mouth was so twisted I don't know which words came out, but they may have been swears.

So I retreated with a bottle of wine to Martina's, where I drank said bottle and we vehemently argued things which I can't recall. And it's good I was gone: a fire was started in my backyard, onto which a very drunk Frenchman threw things like bananas and glass bottles. It's a credit to everyone in the neighborhood that the police were not called. But by the time I returned, most everyone was gone and I continued the drinking until about 4am. Then I made a snack and went to my room.Which brings us to Sunday. I woke up 8 hours later with a raging headache to find that I'd for some reason not eaten the snack, or drank the water I had gathered. Apparently, I was cognizant enough to get them, but not actually consume them. So I hurt. What I HAD done the night before, it would seem, is begin stashing small amounts of alcohol in my closet, like a squirrel. I found a glass of wine in there and an unopened Corona, and decided maybe a little hair of the dog might fix me up. FALSE! I hurt more, and basically stayed in bed all day, napping off and on and watching a season of The Venture Brothers. Right about midnight I started feeling good again, and promptly went to bed.

Drink Count (8/11): 15
Drink Count (8/12): 1

Worst Album Covers #8 and #7:

I think they pretty much speak to each other.