8/17 Update

I feel like I've been pretty spacey lately and not getting around to pointing out or talking about all the things I find interesting or alarming, so I think I'll dump a few of those tomorrow to feel kind of caught up. Otherwise, I've mostly been involved in deep thought, feeling a unique kind of distress. Between late February and late June I began and finished probably 10 pieces, 5 of which I was (and generally still am) proud of. In the time since I've finished exactly nothing, aside from a couple poems. I've written thousands upon thousands of words, have half a dozen stories in varying stages of development, plus Phylloxera, which is still in the drawer and will be for another week I think. Given that, and the fact that my requirements for this semester are entirely different and not geared towards finished, self-contained pieces (experimental exercises and a novel excerpt) it's easy to look around and feel like I'm wasting an inordinate amount of time.

BUT, I have been feeling good too. My reading skills have improved vastly. My critical thinking skills have improved. My understanding of story, plot, character, voice, and all the other things necessary to write well has improved. I can differentiate more precisely between good ideas and bad ones. I've learned to 'map out' a story, so to speak, and to write more efficiently than ever before. In March I was stressing about 2,000 words. In May I had a coronary when I realized I owed two 4,000 word stories. Fast forward to now, and in roughly 48 hours I pumped out 3,000 coherent, passable words. I know they're not perfect, and they're still a draft away from what I'll workshop, and several away from what I'll eventually hand in, but they're infinitely better than what I'd written of, say, Banana Trees after 3 days and much longer. 3,000 is nothing, and I recognize that now. Phylloxera is an unfinished 5,000 and what's killing me is not the length. So no, I don't have a pretty pile of stapled, completed manuscripts from this semester, but I do have ideas, and confidence, and knowledge, and skills that I never would have developed in the same amount of time bumming around San Diego and nannying for a living.

So that's where I am, America, where are you?

I attended half a seminar today, and printed out the shitty first draft of The Zoo Story (aka first half of my novel excerpt) and abandoned my current reading regimen in favor of a much better one. Ulysses and short stories written in the Louisiana bayou in the 1800s aren't exactly packed with tips on how to pace a novel. So I got new books. The old ones will be finished, but the reading emphasis now is on Peter Carey's The True History Of The Kelly Gang, Virginia Woolf's To The Lighthouse, and the novel The Last King Of Scotland (Jane recommended it.)

I also blame my listlessness on a slightly sick feeling-- Rachel has tonsillitis and I've been getting progressively more peckish the past few days. I've also been drinking significantly less-- the unfinished box of wine in my cupboard hasn't been touched in a week now, though I find coffee to be an unsatisfactory substitute. Tea is starting to grow on me by degrees, but we'll see. I'm not abandoning my true proclivities, just scaling them back some. That will likely change come Bob, of course, but Bob always changes everything.

Drink Count: 2

I think that's it. Sorry for the obscene length, but I've been feeling neglectful lately and, if nothing else, I've appeased myself. Here are a few album covers-- thank god I'm almost out of these.

#5With a title like that, how can you not play this at your next house party?

#4Just what Heaven needs-- a kick-ass preacher who can break bricks with his fist. At least it'll get them Asians' attention.

#3Now, this one was a real toss-up. On the one hand, what's funnier than a group called 'Braillettes' (and check out the god damn ringer up front! Didn't even close her damn eyes for the picture!)? On the other hand, there is something very, very sad about this. To be honest, I wouldn't have included this cover at all if these bitches weren't so damn fine!