6/15 Adam's Awesome Adventure, Day 2: Lessons In Paradise

First thing I learned about Vanuatu: There are no noise ordinances anywhere, at any time, for any reason. The result is that people own hungry dogs that bark all night, both the ni-vans and ex-pats. And then there are the wild dogs that just roam with crazy, glazed-over eyes. And they all bark all god damn night. All of them.

Second thing I learned: cartoon roosters are cool; real roosters are fuckers. They don't just sound off for the dawn-- no, they randomly crow pretty much all night. Slap on a chorus of crickets and a heat so oppressive I thought my scrotum was melting, and the result is that I slept terribly, finally dragging my ass out of bed at 10:00 to walk the breadth of Port Vila and take pictures of the harbor, stopping for lunch at a cafe owned by a woman from Rancho Bernardo (small god damn world). Vila itself is a dinky little city, but charming in its own way, and the people are absolutely amazingly friendly and all-around cool: they don't beg, they don't hustle, they don't scam. They smile and say hi or they walk on, either of which is fine by me. Four hours later I wandered back to Susan's and read Ayn Rand's Anthem in it's entirety (my first in about a 10 book binge while staying with The Susan) then wandered over to the Peace Corps HQ for kava time with the folks.

Third thing I learned: Vila nakamals are dirty, foul places, but really fascinating at the same time. For those of you who don't know: kava is a beverage made from the root of a plant. Basically, the root is chewed or pounded and then strained and mixed with a little water to make a truly noxious beverage, and nakamals are where you drink it. In Vanuatu, the kava is really strong, and extremely foul tasting. It's sold dirt cheap (~$1 a shell) with a cup of juice to rinse with, and there is lots of spitting involved, which is partially why nakamals are so gross. After you drink it, you sit and be quiet. Your mouth and throat go numb, you feel really calm, and then you go drink more. It's cheaper than alcohol, has affects similar to marijuana (except it's an appetite suppressant... ladies) and it's legal. Also, it's a very deeply ingrained part of ni-van (and most south pacific) culture and has a long tradition and is still used as part of sacred ceremonies and such-- in some outer islands women still are not allowed anywhere near a nakamal.

This ain't a god damn history lesson, so back to me: after 3 shells I was a bit wonky and headed back to Susan's with 5 other volunteers for dinner and some sweet duty-free wine before passing the fuck out.

Drink Count: 2

P.S. Susan's shower is a filthy cosmic joke, so as you can see: my hair is becoming a problem already. Better strap in-- it only gets worse.