You (I) Thought You (I) Knew...

Holy Shit, I'm falling behind already... organizing 400 pictures is really damn time-consuming, and without pictures it's going to be really damn boring just reading what I did for 30 days abroad. If I could invent a computer monitor that worked like a pop-up book I'd be rich, and maybe people would actually enjoy my various blogs...

Anyway, I'll just drop updates on DOZ for the past 30 days, fresh like a dookie, whenever I can, so maybe 8 tomorrow and 3 the day after, etc. I gotta stop pretending I can stick to a schedule. I'm a writer-- I know how to sit in the front of the computer, but making words come out is like shaving my testicles with a cheese grater. So in the meantime, I'll let you know-- Banana Trees, my awesome story about monkeys and Vietnamese immigrants, is being published in Wet Ink in a few weeks; my first real, honest-to-god payment for a piece of my writing (woooooo!!!). Of course, I'm going to sink that money back into copies of Wet Ink for posterity (maybe one day I'll stop doing this) but I should know in just a couple days whether The Old Cartoon Writer will be appearing in another magazine, and in 5 weeks I'll know whether or not I won the Wirra Wirra Vineyard Short Story Contest. I'll keep ya'll posted, of course. I should really find a California magazine to publish Till Human Voices Wake Us (I don't know that any other audience would appreciate it) so I can gain a little notoriety a little bit closer home.

ALSO, in the most awesome of news: I GOT MY FIRST REJECTION LETTER!!! Like, 3 months ago I sent off World Affairs, a very early story, to a Tasmanian magazine. When I got back from traveling, I had a nice form letter waiting for me stating that my story was good, but they just couldn't find room to publish it. I'm so damn excited, I'm going to frame the mother fucker and hang it over my desk. Yes!!!

I'm off to get some god damn pizza-- in the meantime, enjoy these amazing comics, or just read The Great American Blog because I never, ever fail to laugh my ass off at it. I even go so far as to steal Joe Mathlete's jokes becuase they're that good. Word.

I am the original prospitute (Click to make them bigger):


Hardee's is what Carl's Jr. is called in the midwest:Brandon and me are writing this god damn book on marriage, so help me:
Geography is fun:I do love titties: